Thoughts on Grandma's First Letter from Texas by KG

July 19, 2020

Reflections on Grandma's/Mom's first letter from Texas

I'm interested in hearing what people make of these letters written from Texas in 1954.  I find them very rich and don't want to be the only one to reflect on them.   If others would like to write more than comments here, I presume there's a way I can give others access to be able to write posts themselves.

Let me know if you're interested!

So, Here are some of things I noted in this first letter that I think offer some great insights into our parents and grandparents.

1) Marshall's aggressiveness:  Note that Merle and low-ranking Marshall have an apartment in Killeen, while the angry Major and his wife do not.  What did it take to get this?: 25 persistent phone calls.  If there was ever an opportunity before us,  Grandpa always encouraged us to act -- especially when it came to real estate.   (Also, note the persistence ... these may be characteristic of others in this group as well. Also note, the nostalgia for green.  I wasn't sure that Grandma had already started graduate school before heading to Texas, but this makes it clear that they had already taken up residence in Cambridge ... although of course, Grandpa had started grad school a year before Grandma.

2) Her studies (and "rigid discipline"): You can see that Grandma spends one hour setting up their new apartment and then immediately settles down to work and sets a currently flexible, but soon-to-be rigid schedule for herself which includes book reports for her advisor, John (Mr.) Fairbank; her "own paper" and studying Chinese.  

3) Feminine mystique:  Here Grandma is in 1954 when expectations for women are very clear and mostly don't include aspiring to become a scholar of China.  Grandpa is out most of the day working on and delivering his lectures.  A few weeks ago, when we were with Grandma in Cambridge, Alex asked her what she did after she graduated from College -- of course the first thing she did was get married.  At the very same time, I had been wondering about what she did out in Killeen, Texas and how oppressive that must have been for her, since we know that she hates being out "in the middle of nowhere," even if she did have the book reports to do for John Fairbank.  Notice here that she mentions that between her periods of rigorous study, she does "a bit of dusting" or "read[s] a recipe."  She does know what's expected of her in her societal role, but it's hard for her to devote much time to it.

4) Relationship with Grandpa: Grandpa had been out in Texas for a bit before Grandma got there. It is clear that they are very happy to be together.  So, "even in this remote area," their minds "are filled with the problems of the world," though also, happily, they "have much more to say to each other than merely a discussion of world problems."    She also offers an interesting insight into her relationship with Grandpa's parents, who, apparently, on their way out to Texas, gave them a new car, which is proving a bit embarrassing because of it seems ill-suited to their economic station in life -- even to the station that they envision for themselves in the future, when Grandpa might be a full professor at Harvard with five books to his credit.  Grandma was very struck by how different Grandpa's parents in terms of their values and interests seemed from her own.  This is an example of that.   It's also clear that she didn't feel in a position not to accept this gift.  I'm really wondering what kind of car this was!  (in a later letter, she mentions that it was a station wagon. -- I'm assuming it's not the Studebaker that they had when we were little and lived on Lovewell Road in Wellesley. 

5) Social Life:  It's interesting to see here that Grandma seems to perceive the potential for a social life as a threat to her goals for this time in her life.  She's happy to be with Grandpa and doesn't really have to make time for others -- but folks around them are trying to "break down [their] social isolation," even as they do their "best to hold the fortress."  This seems both a marker of the discipline they want to maintain and also the sense that they are sufficient for each other. 

Conclusion: At the end of her letter, Grandma makes the observation that "We're both very happy, excited about our work, and have realized it's not where you are that's important, it's what you make out it." Although both Grandma and Grandpa would later realize that being able to be in the Boston area was extremely important to them and their career satisfaction, this and Grandma's later letters make clear, that for this period of their lives, Killeen Texas was the ideal place to be as they deepened their engagement with both their scholarly interests and skills and each other.

I'm eager to hear others' thoughts on all this.  Please comment below!